When I finally made it into the club, I was no less intimidated. There were people everywhere – and they were all together. In groups or in couples, everyone had someone to talk to, dance with, and generally not feel like a loser with. Except me. So I sat down at a high bar stool table and pulled out my phone. I was too petrified to look around. And because none of my friends knew I was there or even that I was gay, I had no one to talk to. So I did something I’m not proud of – I fake texted.I believe my inner dialogue went something along the lines of: “Oh my god, everyone knows I’m here alone. Everyone is staring at me thinking I am a huge creep… Wait a minute. No one is actually looking at me. Why is no one looking at me?? Am I not attractive to lesbians? F*ck, here comes someone. La di da, don’t mind me, I’m just looking at my cell phone, checking all my text messages from all my hot lady suitors… Okay, phew. They passed.”This went on for an hour. I literally sat there, surrounded. Tabhi who dono waiters uth gaye aur bahar aa gaye meri taraf dekha aur apne honto par kuthe ke tarah jib pherne lage aur mere pas aaye aur bole “madam .. thank u aap nashe mein bahut achi lagti hain aur bahut hi acha chudwati hain, hum ne to ek chance lene ki khwaish thi, magar aap ki meherbani se raat bhar mein apne dono se 3-3 round liye hain, hamari to kismet hi khul gayi, agar aap bolo to evening ko phir se aa jaye aur saat mein aap ko jobhi chaiye who sab free hai”meine kaha “batao na meine kya kya kiya, mujhe kuch bhi yad nahin” to un me se ek waiter ne kaha “madam evening ko aane ke baad batayenge na full practical mein” aur tono ne aakar mere lips ko kiss kiya ek ek baar boobs ko masla aur chale gaye. Meine breakfast ka order diya kuch hi der mein breakfast serve ho gaya, meine pet bharkar breakfast kiya aur ghadi dekhi 9 baj gaye the.Mein uthi aur mirror ke samne jakar khadi ho gayi, meine apne kapde nikale aur apne badan ko dekhne lagi, sare badan par halki redness thi.
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